by Eva Tillman
Non-fiction a Memoir
(A letter I will never send, to a mother who would never read it anyway)
Non-fiction / Memoir
Date Published: 06-01-2023
None of us were raised by perfect mothers, nor can we ourselves be perfect parents. But some mothers sure do know how to ruin a life, well, almost. I say almost because, although my mother’s parenting left severe damage in its path and, regrettably, and inevitably, shaped some of the decisions I made, I am grateful to have realized the issues I was facing. So, I now have the opportunity to properly address those issues, to minimize their impact on my life.
This book holds the words I would express to my mother if I thought she cared to acknowledge my feelings at all.
Many others have been “raised” by narcissistic mothers and have been deeply affected. But it is still possible to live happy lives, free of Mom’s burden. Writing has helped me immensely in this regard.
It didn’t appear that you gave any thought to my happiness at all. At too early an age, I had to learn to take care of myself. At times, you seemed genuinely confused about why I was asking you anything. It’s not like I ever asked you to get some coconut oil and massage the heels of my feet, do my homework for me, or write a letter to my boyfriend and deliver it to his house. Quite frankly, the things I asked you for were what was owed to me as your child that you chose to bring into the world.
Most times I just wanted you to sit and talk to me. And not just talk, I wanted you to listen to my expressions. But you didn’t seem to think that was your responsibility. I feel like I was such a burden on you. And for many years, I projected that feeling onto others. I began to feel like I was a burden on friends, coworkers, everyone, even random strangers, customer service agents, you name it! I didn’t feel like anyone would want to do anything for me.
Eventually, I realized that your actions or lack of action planted those feelings in me. But it became my problem to figure out how to overcome them. I am grateful to have figured things out. But the reality still is still that you left me to fend for myself and that is completely unfair.
About the Author
Eva Tillman published her first work in 2023. However, she has enjoyed writing since she was a teenager.
She lived in several regions of the United States before she finally settled in the West with its palm trees and almost constant sunshine. She loves to read, eat, and help others feel good about themselves.
Many people, including Eva, have faced trauma of different types. Unfortunately, the hands of time cannot be turned back. But it is possible to live happy and successful lives, contentedly coping with the slowly dissipating effects of the trauma.
In her most personal work, “Dear Mom”, Eva does her best to express herself as she would if she were writing to Mother herself. Perhaps one day Eva will deliver the book to its rightful recipient. For now, she enjoys the liberation of having poured out her true feelings.