Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – A multi-International cast, two cats, a dog and WI training.

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

Welcome to the first of the laughter lines this week.. some from the archives and a couple of new ones…

First it is time to catch up with that Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman… up to their usual shenanigans!

A Scotsman, an Irishman, and an Englishman are each sentenced to a year in solitary confinement; before being locked away, each is to be granted a year’s supply of whatever he wants to help him get through the long, long spell alone.

  • The Scotsman asks for a year’s supply of whisky; it’s given to him and he’s locked away.
  • The Irishman asks for a year’s supply of Guinness so he’s locked up with several thousand bottles of it.
  • The Englishman asks for a year’s supply of cigarettes and he’s given a pile of cartons and the cell door is shut on him.

One year later, the doors are all unlocked.

The Scotsman…

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Echoes of the Past Teaser Tuesday

Military Sci Fi
Published Date: 5/10/2018
A republic under attack. A reluctant soldier. An all-out fight for the galaxy’s soul.
David Cohen prays he’ll live to see the other side of his first deployment. His people thought they had left war behind when they fled Earth centuries ago. Time, though, has not dulled the hatred and intolerance of their erstwhile oppressors. To defend his homeland’s freedom, David abandons his dream of becoming a rabbi for the battlefield… and discovers a side of himself he is not sure he can live with.
David’s focus is clear when the bullets are flying. In the long hours after, he must reckon with the toll that blood and blame bring upon his mind. Can he square the tenets of his faith against his responsibility to crew and country? Nothing has prepared him to make decisions that could cause ruin or an end to generations of conflict… except for trust in God, himself, and those who serve under him.
If David Cohen survives it all, who will he be?




About the Author
Ever since watching Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back at the age of five, with his father, Daniel has loved science fiction. Reading hundreds of sci-fi novels, during his teenage years, Daniel came up with the EOTP (Echoes of the Past) universe. Twenty years later, its finally becoming a reality!
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LOVE, MUSIC, MADNESS by Tabitha Rhys



Genre: New Adult Contemporary Romance

Publisher: Soul Mate Publishing

Songwriting partners Lawson Harper and Jessa Warlow’s musical ambitions are derailed when their so-called relationship ends disastrously. However, neither Lawson nor Jessa is willing to give up on the album’s worth of soul-searing songs they wrote together—songs they’re sure are good enough to change both their lives.

Will the chemistry that fuels their creativity drive them to make the record of a lifetime, or only to absolute madness?



Over the course of several hours, Jessa and I pulled apart three of her songs and put them back together. The first two were soft and jazzy. The last was bluesy and thundering. When Jessa forgot a lyric, she referred to an old composition book she produced from under her bed. I couldn’t read most of the words that were scrawled over every inch, but she had no trouble deciphering the scribbles.



It was nearly two a.m. when we finally called it quits. By then, Jessa and I had three respectable song drafts recorded on her phone. “That went rather well,” Jessa said.


“It did.”


“Perhaps it’s something we’ll do again.”


“I hope so.” That was an understatement. I hadn’t felt so creative—or so accomplished—in a long time. I’d never thought of myself as a songwriter, but taking what Jessa had already made and layering on top of it came easy to me. I couldn’t wait to do it again.


I sensed Jessa’s eyes following me as I got to my feet and placed her Taylor carefully on its stand. “Hey,” she said, hugging her knees to her chest, “would you mind not telling anybody that we met up tonight?”


“No problem.” I shrugged. “Any special reason?”



She hesitated. “I’m sort of laying low.”


“What do you mean?”


“I haven’t told any of my friends I’m back in town.” She sighed. “You see, I don’t want anybody to know that I quit my job. Or that I’m living here with my parents. Not until I have a record—or at least more to show for this move back home. Does that make sense?”


“Perfect sense.” It did. Although I hadn’t suspected Jessa Warlow would care what her friends thought of her. Or anybody for that matter.


I moved to retrieve my jacket from her bed, where I’d tossed it mid-session. Then something occurred to me. If Jessa was intent on hiding out, she would probably want to know that my brother was coming to town. Mostly because that meant those hiding out days were numbered.


If Jessa had once been Gunther’s queen, my brother Thom had just as surely been king—a role he savored and was likely to resume upon arrival. As soon as Thom got to Gunther, old friends, and friends of friends, would start coming around again. No doubt about it.


I wasn’t sure I wanted to give Jessa what might be received as bad news. At the same time, I knew she would find out eventually and wonder why I hadn’t given her a heads up.


“If you haven’t talked to your friends, then I guess nobody told you my brother’s visiting after Christmas,” I said slowly.


Just as I hoped it wouldn’t, Jessa’s smile faded. “Thom is coming here? To Gunther? You can’t be serious.”


All she had to do was look at me to know I was.


“Hasn’t Thom been out in California for the last four years?”


“He has.”


Jessa bristled. “So, why now?”


“He claims to miss Gunther. He claims to miss my mom, and my sister, and me.”


Jessa raised herself from the floor and put her guitar back on its stand with jerky motions. “I see. I guess I won’t be ‘laying low’ much longer.”


“Sorry,” I said, “I shouldn’t have brought it up.”



“I’m glad you did,” Jessa insisted. But she didn’t sound glad. Not at all.


By then, I was wishing very hard that I had kept quiet. Jessa and I had just completed a near-perfect session—we were on the brink of scheduling a follow-up rehearsal, I was sure of it—and I had gone and made myself the bearer of bad news.


I tried to think of something encouraging to say, but couldn’t come up with anything that wouldn’t sound fake or forced. I reached for my jacket and got ready to say a speedy goodnight.


But before I could get anything out, something unexpected happened.


Jessa stepped toward me, eyes narrowed. Then she grabbed a handful of my T-shirt. And crushed her lips against my lips.


I couldn’t have been more surprised. All I could think was that she had made some kind of mistake. I expected her to jump back, muttering excuses, any second.


She didn’t.


Instead, she yanked me closer.
Tabitha Rhys is a writer and mom with a passion for music, misfits, and subculture. She grew up in the Philadelphia suburbs and now resides in Riverside, CA with her husband and son.

 

Raiden Out the Storm Release Blitz

An (Off The Rails) Ice Era Chronicle 2:15 AM
Dystopian / Sci-Fi / Post-Apocalyptic Romance
Date Published: 4/10/2018
Publisher: Troll River Publications
 
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In the harsh reality of the post-apocalyptic frozen tundra, Raiden fights his growing attraction for Ashley Winsor and her handsome shadow, Stone.
Moving closer to separation the threesome navigate a world filled with angry harvesters, subterranean trains, and hungry polar bears. Through this steamy dystopian trek, Raiden discovers that these two people may be the only thing he loves on this ice bound Earth.
Once they arrive at headquarters a decision will be made… Is Raiden the man who will destroy their fragile relationship, or is he the harvester Ash and Stone need to love?
About the Author
C.M. Moore is a retired soldier, and a romantic at heart. After being blown up in Afghanistan and receiving a purple heart, he began writing with his wife. Connor’s first book 1:05 am is a mixture of love, sex, and action. Today if you are looking for Connor, you can find him volunteering with veteran organizations, and harassing his military buddies. You can also find him attempting to “hunt” in the woods and ponds of Minnesota. In the event you find him in the woods, don’t be scared, he can’t hit anything. If you want to contact him message him at c.m.moore.author@gmail.com 
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